Monday, November 30, 2009

‘Tis the Season…for Holiday Visitation

The holidays can be a difficult time of year for couples who have recently separated. Parents may be attempting to establish visitation for the holidays, and they may not have time to place a motion for visitation on the court’s docket. Here are a few suggestions for amicable resolution of holiday visitation.

1. A fairly common visitation schedule provides that one parent has the child for the entire winter break from school in odd-numbered years, and the other parent has the child for the entire winter break in even-numbered years. This approach typically factors in who will have visitation during the Thanksgiving holiday and the child’s spring break, and may not provide the best resolution for parents dealing with the pendency of Christmas break.

One approach, when discussing only winter break, is to divide the break in half, with one parent receiving visitation for the Christmas portion and the other parent receiving visitation for the half of the break containing New Year’s. Parents simply divide the child’s winter break equally.

A second potential solution, for parents who hope to both spend time with the child on Christmas, is to divide Christmas itself. One parent has visitation on Christmas Eve and a portion of Christmas morning, and the other parent has visitation for the remainder of Christmas morning until the following morning.


2. Think about geography when creating a schedule. Where do each of the parents and the child reside? Consider where extended family members one may plan on visiting live when determining the best way to arrange for the holidays. Factor in how much time the child is potentially going to spend traveling, how this travel will affect the child’s Christmas, and how many transitions the child may be subject to during the week.


3. Most important, remember that this is also your child’s holiday. As a parent, you already realize a marital separation is difficult on your kids. Consider your son or daughter’s needs first when creating a schedule. Do not include him in the discussions and do not ask him if he has a preference as to where to spend the holidays. Remember that these are decisions best made by adults and one is only placing stress on a child when attempting to include his input.

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