The holidays can be a difficult time of year for couples who have
recently separated. Parents may be attempting to establish visitation
for the holidays, and they may not have time to place a motion for
visitation on the court’s docket. Here are a few suggestions for
amicable resolution of holiday visitation.
1. A fairly common visitation schedule provides that
one parent has the child for the entire winter break from school in
odd-numbered years, and the other parent has the child for the entire
winter break in even-numbered years. This approach typically factors in
who will have visitation during the Thanksgiving holiday and the child’s
spring break, and may not provide the best resolution for parents
dealing with the pendency of Christmas break.
One approach, when discussing only winter break, is to divide the break
in half, with one parent receiving visitation for the Christmas portion
and the other parent receiving visitation for the half of the break
containing New Year’s. Parents simply divide the child’s winter break
equally.
A second potential solution, for parents who hope to both spend time
with the child on Christmas, is to divide Christmas itself. One parent
has visitation on Christmas Eve and a portion of Christmas morning, and
the other parent has visitation for the remainder of Christmas morning
until the following morning.
2. Think about geography when creating a schedule.
Where do each of the parents and the child reside? Consider where
extended family members one may plan on visiting live when determining
the best way to arrange for the holidays. Factor in how much time the
child is potentially going to spend traveling, how this travel will
affect the child’s Christmas, and how many transitions the child may be
subject to during the week.
3. Most important, remember that this is also your
child’s holiday. As a parent, you already realize a marital separation
is difficult on your kids. Consider your son or daughter’s needs first
when creating a schedule. Do not include him in the discussions and do
not ask him if he has a preference as to where to spend the holidays.
Remember that these are decisions best made by adults and one is only
placing stress on a child when attempting to include his input.
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