A Bitter Homecoming

The return home of a wounded soldier is not always accompanied by scores of hugs and tears of joy at the airport. Many return home to domestic and financial problems which developed -- but of which they were completely unaware -- while they were overseas. When compounded by health issues such as traumatic brain injury (TBI), PTSD, or other injuries requiring frequent surgeries, long rehabilitation and psychological recovery, the results can be disastrous. Health care is covered, but legal assistance is not, and in many cases it is as sorely needed.

Long absences and the physical and emotional effects of serving in a war can destroy a couple, and in turn, a family. Spouses left behind are not always equipped to deal with the separation, fear and anxiety that deployments cause, and can find themselves even less prepared to deal with a severely injured husband or wife. When the injuries are not visible, but rather psychological, such as PTSD or the manifestations of a TBI, developing understanding and patience can be impossible for some. As a result, many soldiers return home to find that their marriages are falling apart. Trying to put your marriage back together while the doctors put you back together is not easy, and soon, a newly-returned veteran may find herself in need of legal advice as much as medical services. Unfortunately, the VA currently does not serve this need.

These clients’ situations are unique, even if the legal issues they are facing are not. For example, a diagnosis of PTSD can be the difference between a grant of joint custody and supervised visitation. This writer has seen the injuries suffered by a wounded veteran used against him in a custody battle in a shameless manner, and the bald-faced assertions and baseless arguments accepted unquestioned by the Court. In this case, a wife who became “estranged” from her service-member husband while he was in Afghanistan claimed that he “came back different,” citing PTSD. At first -- with no one truly championing the husband’s cause, and press coverage giving an impression that the war was creating monsters – her assertion was enough to lend credence to a fabricated protective order petition and sole custody claim. This particular soldier did come back different, but not in the ways claimed. He had lost some of his mobility, and his retention skills needed some rehab, but he was still the loving father he had always been. Thankfully, he also hadn’t lost his ability to stand firm in the face of adversity. By listening to his story and continuing to fight, we were able to turn the tables and obtain sole custody of the children this soldier hadn’t been permitted to speak to for six months. Now his spouse has visitation when he agrees.

For those who decide to serve these clients – and everyone who can should -- it is crucial that beyond the marital issues and financial circumstances, one become educated as to what the client has been through and what he or she faces. Learn not only the true nature of any medical diagnoses and their manifestations, but the treatments, side effects, treatment schedules, and even VA disability classification procedures. While we who have not served can never understand what a soldier goes through in a war zone, we can learn what they are facing upon their return, and we can -- for a change -- fight their battles.